clinton's weblog of the present and near future

Late Tuesday night, Steven Hill, aka Steve Driver, a porn star attacked and killed fellow porn star Herbert Wong, aka Tom Dong, with a samurai sword. He also wounded two others with his sword, but they will survive.

Following the incident, Mr. Hill fled the scene and has escaped into the San Fernando Valley with the sword. The attack took place at the production studio where Hill worked and also lived. Not that you should think that’s suspicious.

The manhunt continues as of press time. Hill is considered armed and dangerous. Should you confront him, do your best to avoid contact with his lengthy sword.

Check back for updates as they warrant.

UPDATE: A standoff has been underway with police at a house in LA for a few hours. The alleged murdering porn star is threatening to commit suicide and may still have the samurai sword used to commit the spree of violence and death.

UPDATE 2: After a standoff of 8 hours or so, the talented Mr. Hill threw himself off of a cliff, suffering fatal head injuries.

UPDATE 3: Here’s a link to the shocking video from KABC in Los Angeles of the shocking end to the standoff. Again, shocking.

Two days and 800 miles have landed me in Jacksonville Fl. Highlights of the trip thus far have been -
1. Buying gas 5 times.
2. Not being able to find any good CD’s at a Best Buy in Fredericksburg, Va. (but the did have 500 copies of Guns n Roses – Chinese Democracy out an on display)
3. Getting a ticket in Richmond and not seeing another cop the rest of trip.
4. Leaving the Shoney’s buffet unaffected.
5. Watching the Cleveland Cavaliers choke a series away and maybe lose LeBron James because of it. He did have a triple-double and everyone around him seemed to tighten up and miss shots before they took them, but if LeBron doesn’t win something soon everyone is going to start calling him Patrick Ewing and Karl Malone. I don’t think that is fair yet, but Jordan would’ve never lost to an old team that’s been done for two years.
6. The lovely view of Panda Express from the hotel window.
(Number seven will be missing the Flyers tonight when I can’t find anywhere to watch it.)

Tonight, the search is on for something I don’t regret eating and for someone that has ever seen a hockey game before.

UPDATE: 7:39 PM

Well, that was pointless…

http://sports.yahoo.com/nhl/boxscore;_ylt=ApP02RCddDYgvEprRi6tUIvezYd4?gid=2010051401

UPDATE 2: 10:04 PM

I can’t believe I’m stuck in Jacksonville. I had to listen the first two periods on my iPhone until I got to a crab shack to watch the third. I feel so disconnected. No sound on the tv and I’m the only one within a 600 mile radius that cares.
Still it’s the biggest win I’ve ever seen. It’s amazing that a team this bad could do it. They better not waste it and blow a series to Montreal. They don’t have to win the finals now, but they do have to get there.

On the unbelievability scale, a team as bad as this years Flyers team coming back from 3-0 down to tie a series ranks right up there with the best player in the NBA choking in the biggest game of the year at home. So yeah, things are happening. I still can’t fathom that they’ve done it and have all the momentum going into Friday night. I also feel a lot safer going to game 7 than I did earlier tonight. (See here)

In the morning, I am driving to Jacksonville for a wedding. I’m not sure if they know about hockey that far south, so right now, I’m just hoping that I’ll be able to find somewhere to watch game 7. Speaking of which, for the thousands that read this blog everyday, and the millions that read it almost everyday, I will attempt to post mobile updates of my trip down the east coast and provide a rare sampling of America that few get to experience.

Legions of teenage girls declared a jihad on Kim Kardashian after this years’ pre-pubescent pop star of the moment posted a picture of the two of them together on his Twitter page from the White House Correspondents Dinner. (Why were either of them at the White House Correspondents Dinner? I don’t know, but we can worry about that another time.)

After Bieber, who I won’t call gay right now but check back in 5 years, joked that picture was of his new girlfriend, hordes of jealous middle school crusaders begun inundating  the worldly Ms. Kardashian with threats on her life for corrupting their precious bubblegum bellowing boy of the moment.

Bieber, feigning interest, was forced to call off the assault, posting on Twitter that they’re just friends, he’s not interested in her, wouldn’t really know what to do with her, and how he would like her to introduce him to any brothers she has (or something close to that, I didn’t actually read any of it).  Finally, he then went back to listening to Cole Porter and reading Nick Sanchez.

As of this writing, it appears that tensions have calmed to the point where Ms. Kardashian is safe to walk past the strip of Rave, Justice and Candies at the Burbank Town Center.  As the peace endures, so do we. Details to follow if needed…

I know you’re never going to believe this, but Kendra has a sex tape. I haven’t been this shocked since the Sun rose on time this morning.  I’m truly taken aback.  According to reports, it will be available for purchase soon. Not that you haven’t seen most of it already.

This is really going to be a blow to her reputation. All those years of not having sex on camera have been wasted. I really hope that the E! Network can launch a new show in time to detail her legal struggles in the wake of this devastating tragedy.

Good luck Kendra. The prayers of literally dozens of people around the country are with you.

Tonight on the show, I’ll be talking about the political ramifications of the stimulus package and an LA Times story indicating the doctor for Nadya Suleman implanted numerous embryos into another woman that is now pregnant with quadruplets.

Turn your radios on now so they’re ready to go at midnight.

Continuing a trend of spurned lovers accusing their former baseball player paramours of giving them STD’s, Ilya Dall filed a lawsuit against Roberto Alomar alledging he intentionally had unprotected sex with her after he knew he acquired HIV. The gentlemanly 12 time All-Star is denying that claim and that he now has AIDS. So far, Ms. Dall has yet to confront Alomar Shamsky-style with video camera in midtown, but tomorrow is another day.

Former New York Met, Art Shamsky, and his ex-wife Kim are engaged in an ongoing legal dispute. Like any battle between former lovers, the two sides have some disagreements, but let’s hope they can find some common ground and keep things amicable.

Classy.